SAFETY ALERT: Your abuser can monitor your use of your computer and the Internet. If you are in danger, please use a safer computer, call 911 or the Minnesota Domestic Violence Crisis Line at 1-866-223-1111 if you are in Minnesota. If you live outside of Minnesota call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together, or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:

  • Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
  • Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
  • Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
  • Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
  • Does not want you to work or to school.
  • Controls finances or refuses to share money.
  • Punishes you by withholding affection.
  • Expects you to ask permission.
  • Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
  • Humiliates you in any way.

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:

  • Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
  • Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or strangled you.
  • Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
  • Scared you by driving recklessly or driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
  • Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
  • Forced you to leave your home.
  • Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
  • Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
  • Hurt your children.
  • Used physical force in sexual situations.

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:

  • Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
  • Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
  • Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
  • Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
  • Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts you did not want to do.
  • Held you down during sex against your will.
  • Demanded sex when you were sick, tired, or after beating you.
  • Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
  • Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
  • Ignored your feelings regarding sex.

Information adapted from the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions you may be in an abusive relationship.

If you live in Ramsey County, please call us at (651) 266-9901 Monday through Friday between 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m.

After hours or on the weekends, call St. Paul Intervention Project 24 hours a day at (651) 645-2824.

If you live in Minnesota, but outside of Ramsey County, please call the Minnesota Domestic Violence Crisis Line 24 hours a day at 1-866-223-1111.

If you live outside of Minnesota, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Domestic violence is an epidemic that affects the lives of thousands of women, men and children in our community.

Domestic Violence in St. Paul and Ramsey County:

In the last 10 years, 36 women and 23 children in Ramsey County were murdered as a result of domestic violence.
Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women

Each year, the St. Paul Police Department receives nearly 8,000 domestic violence calls for service and more than 1,400 Orders for Protection are filed with the Ramsey County Court.
St. Paul Police Department and Ramsey County Court

Domestic Violence in Minnesota:

In fiscal year 2006, 37,010 women and children in Minnesota were served by community advocacy programs for battered women. 5,295 battered women and 5,131 children in Minnesota utilized emergency shelter services.
Office of Justice Programs, Minnesota Department of Public Safety

One of every three homeless women in Minnesota is homeless at least in part due to domestic violence.
Wilder Research Center, 2003

About 25% of 6th and 9th graders in Minnesota reported that they had been physically abused by an adult living in the household. Similar percentages of students reported that someone in their household had been the victim of domestic violence.
Minnesota Student Survey, 2004

Domestic Violence in the United States:

Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.
The Commonwealth Fund

Domestic violence is a major public health problem that exceeds $5.8 billion each year in the United States in health-related costs.
Centers for Disease Control, 2003

Each year, an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence by family members against their mothers or female caretakers.
Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence in the Family